Which imaginary movie would you most like to see?

Since we've been having a depressing situation more or less recently on the forum (because of the transvestite in love with Adam!), I've decided to create this poll which is obviously just a harmless little joke. Plz forgive me if you do not like the choices I've presented for any matter (have some humor guys), but read the synopsis for the movies below before voting.

Also, if you come up with some other ideas for a movie with figure skaters starring in it, do share them with us. You can also suggest different castings for the movies in the poll. Plus I'd appreciate it if you'd provide us with reasons concerning your choice! Enjoy!

1."The Wizard of Olyz" Directed by 'whoever is Mao's coach next season'
Dorothy(Mao Asada) and her dog Toto(Aero) are caught in a tornado's path and somehow end up in the land of 'Olyz'. Dorothy just wants to get back to Nagoya. She's helped by the Good Witch of the North(Tatiana Tarasova), but she's also in trouble with the Wicked Witch of the West(Brian Orser), who seeks revenge for the death of her sister; the Wicked Witch of the East(Yuna Kim), for which she blames Dorothy. Wishing to return home, Dorothy begins to travel to the Sochi City where a great wizard(Evgeni Plushenko) lives. On her way she meets a Scarecrow(Daisuke Takahashi) who needs to get a bolt out of his leg, a Tin Man(Takahiko Kozuka) who wants Dorothy's heart, and a Cowardly Lion(Nobunari Oda) who desperately needs courage to leave his mom. They all hope the 'Wizard of Olyz' will help them.

---------------------------added synopsis from here/SPOILER ALERT!---------------------------

After some adventures Dorothy finally meets the 'Wizard of Olyz' who tells her she must do a 4-4-4 combo in order to get home, and starts training her as if the devil got into him or something. Dorothy being the hard worker she is, managed to achieve a solo quad in the end, but however she tried could not help getting UR calls for the combo. 'Hohoho! My little ballerina on ice! You must do more muscule training and become like me to accomplish that!' said the 'Wizard of Olyz' who indeed had a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger when he starred in "Conan the Barbarian"(1982). Just then, Toto notices a zipper in his back, and tears off the fake muscle suit from the 'Wizard of Olyz' who was wearing it secretly just to make him look like a sex bomb. Everyone in Sochi city started shouting 'the wizard of Olyz is a humbug!' so he flees off on his private jet (celebrities have them, right?) leaving poor Dorothy behind. Dorothy is in tears saying 'Now I'll never get home to Nagoya and eat MISO-KATZU! God knows they only have them in Nagoya!'. Suddenly, the Good Witch of the North appears, in that fur coat of hers' she usually wears which makes it seem like she has no neck. She gives Dorothy a pair of magical ruby skating-shoes, and tells her that all she has to do is jump three 3As *chanting 'there's no place like home' wearing them. Plus only one of them has to be a combo. Dorothy easily accomplishes her new task, and she was back home in Nagoya before she even knew it. Her sister Mai(as herself) says to her 'You were blown away in a tornado and had been in a coma for days! I was so worried! But let's go shopping now...'. Dorothy replies 'Can we eat MISO-KATZU, too? I would've chanted there's no place like Korea if I felt like YAKINIKU, but for a decent MISO-KATZU dish...there's no place like home!'. /*check info on chanting in General News 'Unbelievable...' thread.

2."The Birds" Directed by Frank Caroll
When Melanie Daniels(Johnny Weir) is crossing a lake, she is nipped by a penguin(Evan Lysacek). Gradually, incidents of bird attacks on quad jumpers(Evgeni Plushenko, Jeremy Abbott, Daisuke Takahashi, Brian Joubert etc.) by pecking increases. Shaved ice splinter as vultures(all played by Evan Lysacek) dive into them, flower girls are sent home from stadiums to safety, judges take refuge in the back row seats (where they are beaten to death not by the vultures, but by poor figure-skating fans who never had the priviledge of watching competitions in arena seats like them + those who were pissed with CoP). But Melanie is trapped in kiss&cry being repeatedly attacked on her rose-crown, by a mysterious Canadian bird with an attitude problem(you know who!).

3."Cleopatra" Directed by Nikolai Morozov
The story of Queen Cleopatra(Miki Ando provided with much more eye-lining than usual) of Egypt who wants to stabilize her quad power by using the tensions in the Japanese Skating Federation. Caesar(Nikolai Morozov) visits Egypt, has an affair with her, and returns to Russia. She adopts his terrible taste in costumes and visits Russia to claim her place at Caesar's side. He is murdered before this can happen, leaving his last words 'Et tū, Nobu?'. She returns to Egypt leaving Russia in turmoil. Mark Antony(Javier Fernández) follows her to Egypt and they fall in love. However, Kathy Reed(as herself) defeats Cleopatra in a deadly battle of *singles ice dancing. As good as she was, Cleopatra did turn out to be more of a jumper rather than a footworker. Cleopatra is guided by Mozarts' 'Requiem' into heaven as she lays on the ice dead...boy that must've be cold!/*check the 'Acrobatic skating vs. singles ice dancing' poll for more info on the newcoming(?) sport.

4."The Silence of the Lambs" Directed by Evgeni Loutkov
Young FBI agent Clarice Starling(role shared by clovera and hirahira) is assigned to help find a missing woman(chapis) to save her from a psychopathic serial jumper(Kevin Van Der Perren) who skins his costumes into skeletons. Clarice attempts to gain a better insight into the twisted mind of the jumper who's capable of a 4-3-3 but becomes slow as a snail afterwards. Clarice visits another psychopath jumper Hannibal Lecter(Adrian Schultheiss in his FP costume for last season), who used to be thought of as fairly good-looking until people started to notice his head is a bit too big.

5."Brokeback Mountain" Directed by Alexei Nikolaevich Mishin
In 1996, a junior figure skater named Jack Twist(Evgeni Plushenko) and Ennis Del Mar(Alexei Yagudin) met during their training camp taking care of a flock of Russian kids who had no talent in skating like them (and so eventually faded away in coming years), on a mountain range in St. Petersburg. The two unexpectedly have an affair together (in you know what way) but after that winter heads on to their separate ways. Later on in their lives, after both of them have wives(Yana Rudkovskaya and Tatiana Totmianina), the two meet again secretly in Saltlake City not being able to forget about their previous relationship.

---------------------------added synopsis from here/SPOILER ALERT!---------------------------

Years pass by, Jack and Ennis still continuing their secret meetings. Until one day, Ennis notices Jack is attracted to a female 3A jumper(Mao Asada) offering to teach her quads. This made Ennis furious since he knew Jack hated him jumping quads in Saltlake. They decide to break-up. A few months later Ennis finds out Jack has died in an accident. Jack had decided to return to competitive figure skating so that he can forget how heart-broken he was about Ennis, pushing himself into attempting a quintruple, which was clearly damn too impossible even for him resulting in the accident. Ennis is shocked and realizes he still loves Jack saying 'He should've started at least with a 4A...Nyah! He was too old for that anyway, too!'.

edit: I edited 'Wizard of Olyz' 'Silence of the Lambs' 'Birds' and 'Cleopatra' a bit after posting this for the first time.

edit: If you can't understand some of the jokes, read the 'Which figure skater do you want to marry?' thread, for 3 and 4. Read 'Yay Johnny thread' in Other Skaters section for info on 2.

edit: I added a spoiler synopsis for 'Brokeback Mountain'...

All I can say is LOL
I can't choose. I want to see them all.

Definitely ”The Birds”!
I laughed a lot when I read the synopsis, Evan as an evil bird....perfect!

aoi88 wrote:

All I can say is LOL
I can't choose. I want to see them all.

NO choose!!!!!
You have to choose!!!!!
If you can't, think of a movie with skaters in it yourself and share!!!!

I laughed at all of these, but my favorite was definitely The Wizard of Olys. It was just perfect, with Aero and Sochi City and the Witches and Taka-chan wanting Mao's heart. I kind of hope Mao has a similar adventure in 2014 (with a happy ending, of course!)

And it of course reminded me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuGYFM_ytFE

awesome!

But of course I pick "The Wizard of Olyz". The script is perfect Taka-chan as Tin Man + the remaining casting is also perfect! TAT, Dai-chan ...wahh! I SO want to see this film!
Well..maybe I have one small casting change suggestion - can we do this film without Evgeni? I know some of you like him very much (you Pochinko included ) but...just no. Maybe.. Mao's future coach would be a better person fot the "great wizard" job? It's just a suggestion tho!

PochinkoPotanko wrote:

aoi88 wrote:

All I can say is LOL
I can't choose. I want to see them all.

NO choose!!!!!
You have to choose!!!!!
If you can't, think of a movie with skaters in it yourself and share!!!!

Ok. Ok. Wow I had a hard time choosing between Wizard of Oz and Brokeback Mountain, but the shounen-ai fangirl inside me goes for Brokeback Mountain.

This was really hard because I would love to see them all but I went with Wizard of Olyz because that one made me laugh the most.

kaarolcia wrote:

awesome!

But of course I pick "The Wizard of Olyz". The script is perfect Taka-chan as Tin Man + the remaining casting is also perfect! TAT, Dai-chan ...wahh! I SO want to see this film!
Well..maybe I have one small casting change suggestion - can we do this film without Evgeni? I know some of you like him very much (you Pochinko included ) but...just no. Maybe.. Mao's future coach would be a better person fot the "great wizard" job? It's just a suggestion tho!

I've added some further info to the synopsis of 'Wizard of Olyz' which should convince you of Plush playing the wizard. I really didn't want to write that part cause it'd be a spoiler, but for the sake of the castings...

Btw aoi88 don't call it 'shonen-ai' cause it makes it sound so innocent and pure...They call it 'boys-love' thesedays and you know it! You're a Yaoi girl, aren't ya!? You can't fool me~

"Wizard of Olyz" 100% I died of laughter reading the synopsis.
The Plushenko sex bomb reference took the cake though

PP, you do have imagination!
My vote goes for the "Wizard of Olyz", of course. I almost had an attack when I read "Wicked Witch of the West(Brian Orser)" But why must Dai be the scarecrow?

Now you could create a plot for something like "The Adams Family". We surely have got good characters for it.

alyssa wrote:

PP, you do have imagination!
My vote goes for the "Wizard of Olyz", of course. I almost had an attack when I read "Wicked Witch of the West(Brian Orser)" But why must Dai be the scarecrow?

I'm sort of good at creating parody stuff...you can tell from my Youtube vids, I'm sure. Plus never forget, I do have a BA in film theory! HA!

And well...I knew I'd get claims on Dai being the scarecrow but...Takahiko does kinda fit the tin-man image, and same for Nobu with the cowardly lion. So the scarecrow was the only one left! You should at least give me credit for not writing he wants a brain cause that should've made him look pretty stupid...and so I avoided that!

But I did consider Patrick for the scarecrow who wanted brains just for a brief second. I only didn't include him in the end, because I didn't want him near Mao at any cost!

I also considered Yuna to be the Wicked Witch of the West at first...but I thought giving him a female role would surely make Orser happy!

PochinkoPotanko, I love them!! I luuuuuuuuuve all of them. You are one kind of potato with full of talents!! Well. it is hard to decide, but I must choose Wizard of Olyz solely because MAO is in it!! She will have fun acting in your movie.

Definitely th Wizard of Oz! It's the one that stars Mao, so that's a no brainer What's with the last one though?! That's just wrong (cringe) !

I think we need to start a fan fiction thread. Batsuchan has needed one for a long time now , and PochinkoPotanko would be a big contributor as well, I think!... I, of course, would have some fun there too

I had to go with "The Wizard of Olyz", though I got a good laugh from all of them! You have quite an imagination there...

Since most of you are choosing 'Wizard of Olyz', and I'm more of a 'Brokeback Mountain' person, I've added another spoiler for the latter so it might get some more votes. And our beloved Mao appears in it, too! Hope that should work for some more votes...

hirahira wrote:

This was really hard because I would love to see them all but I went with Wizard of Olyz because that one made me laugh the most.

I was shocked that even hirahira chose 'Wizard of Olyz'! She's the one who listed Adrian on her list in the marriage poll. That's why I casted her as Clarice along with clovera in 'Silence of the Lambs'! Adrian has been betrayed, poor him...

I voted for 'Wizard of Olyz' too. Sorry PochinkoPotanko, but it has many cast and I want to see them! (especially Takachan,Dai,Nobu and witches! )

PochinkoPotanko wrote:

kaarolcia wrote:

awesome!

But of course I pick "The Wizard of Olyz". The script is perfect Taka-chan as Tin Man + the remaining casting is also perfect! TAT, Dai-chan ...wahh! I SO want to see this film!
Well..maybe I have one small casting change suggestion - can we do this film without Evgeni? I know some of you like him very much (you Pochinko included ) but...just no. Maybe.. Mao's future coach would be a better person fot the "great wizard" job? It's just a suggestion tho!

I've added some further info to the synopsis of 'Wizard of Olyz' which should convince you of Plush playing the wizard. I really didn't want to write that part cause it'd be a spoiler, but for the sake of the castings...

Ok! now I get it! If the plot develops like that than there is no better person to play this part!

PochinkoPotanko wrote:

'Hohoho! My little ballerina on ice! You must do more muscule training and become like me to accomplish that!' said the 'Wizard of Olyz' who indeed had a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger when he starred in "Conan the Barbarian"(1982). Just then, Toto notices a zipper in his back, and tears off the fake muscle suit from the 'Wizard of Olyz' who was wearing it secretly just to make him look like a sex bomb.

This part got me laughing like crazy! Plush can stay!

Yesterday I forgot to vote! I got my pick, but I forgot to fill in the poll! hahaha, go me!
PochiPotato, I am a huge fan of your sense of humor and imagination! haha!

How can I overlook this thread? It's hilarious! My pick is the first one,but the last one is also outstanding! Potato, I love you!

Thanks guys for your compliments! Glad you liked it!
Wish I could make a living out of stuff like this...

I had a hard time choosing. All of the synopses are fantastic. I love them all! But all in all, Mao starring in the Wizard of Olyz won me over.

Dai as the Scarecrow is hilarious. Though I do not think he is brainless at all, sometimes, he can be a little absent minded and goofy (in a very endearing way). He really makes me laugh. I just love him!

Takahiko as the Tin Man wanting to steal Mao's heart is pure genius! I love it and him too!

Nobu as the Cowardly Lion is very cute and funny!

Love all the Witches too!

Pochinko Potanko, you are truly very talented. I love your Youtube videos. They are unbelievably good. You really should pursue a career related to movies. Perhaps, you could write a screenplay about a skater (starring Mao). I'm sure you'll think of a wonderful plot. Hopefully when Mao retires, she can film the movie. You can invite the entire forum to the Premiere. I really hope you get to direct it too. I have faith in you!

PochinkoPotanko wrote:

Clarice visits another psychopath jumper Hannibal Lecter(Adrian Schultheiss in his FP costume for last season), who used to be thought of as fairly good-looking until people started to notice his head is a bit too big.

Big heads aren't much of an issue for me (and I dunno...I never considered ADSL to have that big of a head compared to some celebs out there)

But oh dear. PochiPota-san, these all look equally entertaining
That, and I think I sent in a vote without re-checking which movie I picked.

うっかり属性発動orz

clovera wrote:

Big heads aren't much of an issue for me (and I dunno...I never considered ADSL to have that big of a head compared to some celebs out there)

But oh dear. PochiPota-san, these all look equally entertaining
That, and I think I sent in a vote without re-checking which movie I picked.

うっかり属性発動orz

'ADSL'...lol!
Yeah, he's not that big headed...at least he didn't seem so before. But last season, I just happened to notice it. Maybe it's his hair? Or did he loose weight? He looks quite thin, so in contrast his head looks big?
But anyway, I liked his FP for last season very much! And his head looking a bit big, made the pro stand out more in a lunatic sort of way. Everything seemed to work quite well in artistry there. I'd appreciate someone doing such a unique pro like that in coming seasons, too. I'll miss it when it's gone!

PochinkoPotanko wrote:

Thanks guys for your compliments! Glad you liked it!
Wish I could make a living out of stuff like this...

There is something about you that makes me think that you can be a great business woman. You strikes me as a really smart and witty person.Everyone, let's try to think about a business plan for PP. I am not joking. i am dead serious.

MOACHANTHEBEST wrote:

PochinkoPotanko wrote:

Thanks guys for your compliments! Glad you liked it!
Wish I could make a living out of stuff like this...

There is something about you that makes me think that you can be a great business woman. You strikes me as a really smart and witty person.Everyone, let's try to think about a business plan for PP. I am not joking. i am dead serious.

Thanks MOACHANTHEBEST! I'm so flattered!
But really, I would never make a business woman, most definitely not a great one to say the least.

Spacey, thanks for your compliments, too. I probabaly would make a better film-director, yes. But unfortunately I can come up with fun ideas, as long as it's...only just for fun! That's the difference between professionals and amateurs, me being the latter.

Thanks guys anyway!
Nobody hardly ever praises me off the net, it means alot to me!